Motivating Mantras

lavender sky

I’m finally back to teaching yoga. Not as a full time gig because my children are still little, but enough to keep my yogi toes wet and yogi mind nimble.

My maternity leave gave me a much needed sabbatical to reset and recalibrate my mindset. The short time away made me question: What keeps me motivated?

Now that maintaining a healthy lifestyle jumped to the forefront, I realized that I need constant reminders of why I do what I do.

Why do I love teaching?

Why am I so strict with my diet?

How can I incorporate essential “Me Time?”

Without these questions/motivators all my hard work can be easily sabotaged at my own volition. Do I want pizza? Fuck yes, I want pizza! Now what? Remember the larger picture and I think about the woman I want to be. She is a woman who is self-disciplined and wants to teach her kids that creating what you want out of life takes work.

So what keeps me motivated to teach yoga?

My self practice because when I practice, I am walking my walk. When I practice I discover uncharted nuances of a pose or of how breath moves that I can then pass on to you. I love to see other people excited to move their bodies freely and without pain or discomfort. I love to see other women accept and adore their bodies no matter what age or size. I want to give someone the gift of exploring their bodies potential.
I keep my body active and strong to be healthy and show others that any body holds the power to transform.

Why am I so strict with my diet?

I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. I learned the hard way with alcohol that my willpower and ability to make good choices gets trashed the second I give in to alcohol and sugar. Yes, sugar! There’s no such thing as me having one drink or one cookie so therefore, I have no room for either in my life. OK, I might have a cookie as a special treat. I DO eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, and protein and I also admit that I can get bored with this, so I look for inspiration online, television shows, or restaurants. Being adventurous with food and loving to cook really helps me with exploring options so I can feel satisfied. I remind myself, as an intuitive, my abilities thrive when I’m nourishing my body with high quality foods.
I nourish my body for fuel and focus.

How do I find “Me Time?”

This is tricky with two little kids. I take me time every chance I can. Early morning tends to be my best option or I ask for some time in the evening to be alone. It’s important for me to have solitdude and sit with my own thoughts because in being alone comes major self discovery. Sitting silently, meditating, or just being quiet to hear your own thoughts, connects you back to yourself. To do this I unplug and desensitize from social media, the TV, and phone, then my mind can relax.
I give myself the gift or relaxation to become a better me.

So there you have it. Also, and this is important, I remind myself to have fun and not take myself so seriously because I am, as we all are, a work in progress. Nothing happens over night.

Xoxo. Namaste,
Monica

Starting with purpose.

There are many people out there who look forward to and enjoy New Years Eve (NYE) and there are those who detest it. I fall somewhere in the middle. Actually, I used to love it because it was an excuse to drink, but now that I’m on the wagon, I’ll be practicing my alcohol free mixology. Amateurs show up on NYE and for someone who is in recovery, I loathe amateur hour.

BUT, the idea of evaluating and contemplating the completion of one year and the anticipation of goal setting and visualizing the next upcoming year, makes NYE full of hopeful, optimistic possibility.

2015 was filled with surprises (OMG, I’m pregnant!) and a couple of tough moments, but as a whole, I feel good and complete with what 2015 presented me. What will 2016 bring? I know now that I’m all set with surprises. What I really crave is solidity and strength.

Someone in one of my online groups posed a question: What is your word for 2016? Instead of a resolution you think of a word because words hold vibrational power and can set the tone for the year. For instance, in 2014 my word was fearlessness and I came out of the psychic closet and admitted to myself that I needed sobriety. Both of those instances forced me to meet my fears.

My word or words for 2016 are foundation, purpose, and abundance. What are yours?

Stay safe, everyone! Happy New Year!

Transitioning into the psychic mind

A year and a half ago I came out as a psychic intuitive and medium. The past two years of preparation and transition have been amazingly soul seeking and has served as an educational springboard to my psychic intellect. I listen intently to my spirit guides (like when they told me I needed to quit drinking in order to fully step into my potential). I was terrified my gifts would then become overwhelming, as I typically used alcohol as a means to dull the psychic noise, but instead my gifts became direct, clear, and more manageable. Probably because I could see what was a message and what was ego attachment. My connection to the other side strengthened and I found it easier to connect as a medium.

Our lives are interweaved with life transitions leading us into new experiences and deeper knowing within our spirit minds. Each transition, no matter how big or small, offers us a glimpse of secret insight into our vast inner knowing. Whether the transition is starting a new school, having a baby, leaving a job, or getting married, these experiences present to us a giant platter of emotions and expose our vulnerable soft spots. How we react and respond to these heart opening emotions becomes the very source to examine with a realist magnifying glass to catch and observe our repeated behaviors and patterns of thought that either elevate us into our fullest potential or keep us stuck in our fears.

The patterns of our emotional thought making process divulge the roots of why we keep repeating behaviors, some which are fantastic, some we need to release and let go. Letting go is a true challenge. The moment I knew that I needed to let go of my drinking patterns I thought my world would crash all around me. I thought I would lose friends and that my family wouldn’t understand the reasons why, since I was able to hide it pretty well from everyone. It took me at least 3 years to muddle up the courage and just drop the habit, my coping mechanism. The truth is, I couldn’t trust myself when I got drunk. I couldn’t trust my intuition or my behavior. I had a sweet young child who now understood that the glass of wine on the table was mommy’s and every morning I would wake up feeling like dirt and promising myself I would not drink, until 6 pm rolled around and I would go get more of my coping juice. On my 36th birthday I decided I didn’t want to go one more day obsessing about alcohol. That was it. Suddenly, I was ready for my transition.

Since then everything has shifted for the better. My psychic gifts keep developing and growing, I have greater spiritual connections with my friends and family and what’s even greater, I am adding another small human to my family! Yes, another big transition awaits! No matter how big or small your current transition may be, take a few deep breaths, find your support, your close circle, your tribe, your family and stay in it. Connect to your emotional self. If ever you want to reach out to me for extra support, please feel free to email and set up an appointment for an intuitive reading. Transitions tend to be the best time to seek clarity and answers.

Summer Days

fireworks

Best Days of Summer

Walking through the woods the other day I noticed the layered canopy of green in the trees and at the same moment my son said, “These trees are cute!” The trees smiled at us and we smiled back.

Summer finally showed up to the party and the warmth of the sun opens my eyes to a newfound clarity to devote well needed time for rejuvenation and reconnection to the sacredness around me.

When you’re out and about mingling with the business of the world, acknowledge the beauty in nature wherever you see it, the beauty in people and the beauty in yourself. Give yourself time to rest and to admire the surroundings, the sounds, the aromas, and the sensations of summer. Give yourself permission to bask in the warmth of summer and to nourish yourself in its bounty.

Yesterday I took Ben to the beach for our first trip of the season and I knew from the start it would take a toll physically on my prenatal body. The one-mile walk to the beach was easy as we were both excited to be outside and see our friends, feel the ocean breeze, dance in the sand, and immerse ourselves in the water. There were many moments of Ben running away from me as fast as quickly as possible. The most poignant moment was when he bolted into the water and ran to these two women playing volleyball. Ben wanted to play with these, may I say drop dead gorgeous women. I allowed him to play and flirt for a couple of minutes before asking, why don’t we get your ball? We walked back to our chairs, grabbed the ball, and ran back to the water, but he didn’t want to play catch with me, his mommy, the woman who birthed him. He would much rather throw the ball away from me, and then watch me run get it for him. Was I not fun? What was the problem? I was getting annoyed and hurt.

After a minute of being annoyed because my son would not listen to me, I just decided I could make this a bad beach day or a good beach day. I sat down in the water and just allowed my son to throw the ball where he wanted, to play with other kids that he was interested in, and enjoy watching him be his fun social self. By the end of the day he was ready to leave the beach without any drama. I asked him did he have fun? He answered, Yeah! I wuv vu mama. My heart melted.

Spirit Warrior

tarot

The Spirit Warrior

A spirit warrior is one who seeks the knowledge of herself, bravely & fearlessly, embracing her shadows and her light source. She balances both with beauty & grace, knowing the deeper she exposes herself to herself, the deeper she can connect to those who need her and the deeper she can connect to her Inner Wisdom, her Divine Self, her True Self.

She confronts each challenge as an opportunity for growth. She sees all people as teachers of life and she listens intently to the heartbeat of her soul, which vibrates separately than her own. She shows her truth, her valued vulnerability, whole-heartedly without expectation of acceptance, nor expectation of rejection.

She uses her intuition as the most sacred key to unlock any door that presents itself, for it’s that inner wisdom that guides her into her precious journey of self-awareness.

I call forth your Spirit Warrior. I dare you to fearlessly accept all beautiful and complicated aspects of your spirit and KNOW that all changes you want to make in your life stem from your own power of intention and intuition. You are your greatest life Force.

Peace & Light,

Monica

Project self-care 2015

There is something incredibly humbling when deciding to put yourself first. Not in that selfish, I’m the queen, sort of way, but in a healthy reflective way that says I respect myself and in turn, I respect you.

It has taken me a long time to get to this place. I have dived into the abyss, taken the red pill and never looked back. I know I’ve hurt myself and others countless times and now I allow myself to step back and heal.

To truly heal.

My name is Monica and I’m an alcoholic. The first time I said those words out loud my voice cracked and I cried. It was an ugly cry in front of about 35 strangers who were all like myself, asking for help in the most gracious way they knew how. I’ve been an alcoholic all my life I suppose, constantly denying and defending my alcoholic actions. Things have changed.

Sobriety treats me better than any glass of wine ever has. Two months seems like a short time, and it is, but I feel amazing and grateful for making it this far because I never thought that I would or could live without drinking. At a meeting someone once said, if you make it to AA, you are lucky. If you don’t make it to AA and the good Lord takes you instead, then you are luckier. I didn’t understand it at first, but it means that sobriety will give you peace. At least, that’s what I think it means.

On Sept 19th 2014, I wrote this in a deep unknowing despair. My spirit was torn and I was constantly mending myself and my relationships. I was stuck to my story like a fly is stuck inside a venus fly trap. Only, unlike the fly, I could break free from my own prison. I craved what was killing my soul. I know that now and am incredibly grateful to be on the other side. I found this in my phone and cried because Yes, Yes, Yes. All of it was spot on.

What would my life be like?

What would my life be like sober? Would I accomplish more? Feel more motivated? Instead of a glass of wine, I could meditate, read, or practice yoga. I could write that novel, write a blog post, or write just to write.

I could be learning Spanish, going to Zumba, or taking a long walk around the lake.

What would it feel like to wake up completely refreshed? Would my bloat go away? Would my back pain lessen? With a clear mind I’d imagine my psychic and intuitive abilities would be greatly heightened and I would attract more positivity in that direction. I could focus more attention to what I truly want for my profession and attract the right people into my life.

I might even be a better mother, wife, and lover to my husband. My mood swings might decrease and my pms might go away. The desire and obsession to escape would disappear and I would be totally within my authentic self.

Guess what? I was right. I was right about all of it and it feels amazing to be on the other side. To anyone considering sobriety: It’s worth it. You are worth it.

Peace, love & light,

Monica

Love Thyself-5 Simple Steps

Candles

Love Thyself

I remain committed to my mission of “self-love.” My definition of self-love is: the ability to love oneself unconditionally, to make decisions in her best interest and in the interest of the common good; to set time apart for herself to ground, energize, and stimulate creativity; the ability to give oneself all things needed to thrive.

So much effort goes into self-love and self care. Yet, for others this idea is so naturally fluid that it takes no effort at all. I aim to get the that place where I innately make choices for self love as easily as I can take a deep breath into my body. Unfortunately, for myself, I wait until some crazy catastrophe happens, and then decide that it’s time for self care. What about my preventative habits? What can I do today that will give me the core foundations to make these choices before my health slips or I become too angry to even focus. I need self-care 101 class!

Everyday I hear moms, especially new moms, talk about the difficulty of putting themselves first. Our babies, toddlers, husbands, or jobs seem to take top priority. But, here is what I’ve learned this past month, suffering from a cumulative lack of self-care: I must come first to be a quality human being to my baby, or toddler, or husband, or job. I have neglected this important lesson. GULP. Thank goodness it’s not too late to begin now, where I am, in this moment, to start practicing what I preach.

Some of this is going to seem elementary. You will probably think, DUH. But, these are 5 steps that I can easily implement today.

  1. I will take a shower before 10am every day, blow dry my hair, and put on lip gloss to prepare for my day. (That means I leave Ben in the crib for 30 min while I shower, brush my teeth, etc.)
  2. I will set an intention upon drinking my first sip of tea or coffee.
  3. At bedtime, I will let go of the day by writing in my journal, even if the only thing I write is “This fucking day sucks.”
  4. Meditation with or without stones as I prepare my body for bed.
  5. Dedicate 8 hours to sleep.

So, ladies and gents, do you have a special routine or other healthy habits that you include in your life on a daily basis that instantly zaps you out of negative thinking patterns? What are they? Please share in the comments.

Thank you,

Monica

 

New Moon Wishes

September new moon energy
September new moon energy

Each new moon brings forth a reminded awareness to stay in my present self. As opposed to sinking into a pattern of particular thought, good or unpleasant. So, I need to be completely honest here. I’ve stayed away from writing for most of the year because I have been dealing with some deep soul work. I have needed to step back partly because I did not have the energy to expose myself and I was afraid to allow myself to be vulnerable. I am overwhelmed and lacking more sleep than I dare to admit. Then something wonderful happened.

I had a meltdown at the acupuncture table where I realized that I have no idea how to truly care for myself in a loving compassionate way. I’m learning that most of my choices are resulted out of fear and I’m not going to allow myself to sink into the shadows any longer. Yes, I have come a long way and I have also taken some stumbles in the process, which is all part of my journey.

So, why share my vulnerability now?

The Autumn Equinox is a time for transitioning and manifesting. Going from Spring/Summer into the Fall/Winter seasons actually takes great exertion from the body and mind. We get a rush of fall and feel the need to rush into a busier schedule when we actually need more rest than usual. Now is the time to clean up your diet so the body can perform at its highest potential. Lets also slow down so that we can actually enjoy ourselves and our loved ones.

The clean crisp air of fall also draws upon new ideals and ways of thinking. I have no problem exposing myself during energy healing sessions or Tarot card readings. But, the disconnection with my voice on paper (screen) and physical voice just doesn’t sit well with me anymore. I manifest the power and control of my voice to allow myself to be fully heard without the fears of judgment or speculation.

Last Saturday I gave a Chakra workshop and at the end one of the students asked me what sort of New Moon rituals should she do for the upcoming new moon. No questions were chakra related. They all assumed I was a witch (yes, she said that word!) because of what I talk about and the energy work that I do. Yes, I’m also a medium and the group witnessed me “tap in” to the spirit world. The quick answer would be yes, I am a witch; however, I do not identify with the word, just as I do not identify with the word psychic. I prefer the words pagan and intuitive empath.

With Pluto heading direct and the energy of the autumn equinox, this new moon gives us purpose to let go of what no longer serves us. I let go of behaviors and ways of thinking that are not serving my greater good to make space for my “witchy” behaviors that involve more meditation, yoga, and writing. I release the negative associations I have with the words “witch” and “psychic.” I release my fears of being judged. I release my feeling of being overwhelmed by my son. I make room for joy, light, and pure happiness. I manifest abundance of love and prosperity.

Blessed be.

Heart Space

Celestite crystal grid with rose quartz, clear quartz, amethyst, azurite & selenite.
Celestite crystal grid with rose quartz, clear quartz, amethyst, azurite & selenite.

I am not prettier than you or funnier or thinner or curvier. My skin is not smoother and my lashes are not longer. I am not more educated or more organized or more worldly. I am not more accomplished nor do I have more hopes and dreams than you do.

I also am not less than you.

We are equally this and that.

The single most important thing I have learned by reading cards, channeling as a psychic medium, or doing energy chakra healing begins and ends with the idea that we are all looking for validation, appreciation, and love. We keep seeking out these things over and over again and the whole time it is all within us.

And inside, deep into the hardness that we create to protect our egos is just that: LOVE.

When I say the words, open up your heart space, I don’t just mean the area that holds our beating hearts. When I first heard those words in yoga class that is exactly what I thought, but now I understand the heart space to be so much more.

This space does not contain comparison, judgement, self sabotage, jealousy, or fear.

The heart space holds space for connection, equanimity, worthiness, compassion, and love. In this space we recognize that we are not alone. We are together, working on being the best versions of ourselves and striving to keep our hearts open.

Stay wild. Stay true. Love on.

xoxo, Monica