I recently had surgery on my throat: a tonsillectomy. Not fun at all for an almost 40 year old with two small children, one still breast feeds, and the other who asks for me every five minutes. The recovery was brutal. Vaginal tearing after childbirth was easier. The problem was not being able to talk, but still having to talk because the kids needed me. Overall, my throat chakra is a fucking nightmare.
When did this all go to shit in the first place? I think somewhere between my teenage years and my late twenties I stopped speaking my mind. I gave into drama and extra BS that I didn’t want to do and I lost my voice. I’m still trying to find it, actually. And I’m pissed. I’m so angry that my hands shake, so irate that I have to leave the room for fear I might say or do something that I can’t take back. Indeed, my issues unfold in my inability to say what I want to say when I want to say it. Instead, I bottle that up inside myself so tightly that I explode. I can literally feel a hand or something wrapped around my neck when I’m trying so speak my mind.
All week I read the #metoo posts on FB and thought about how so many of us have been silenced or choose to stay quiet about our experiences out of pain of reliving the trauma and also because there’s a shame factor involved with our story. The silence that we enforce on ourselves remains a stagnant energetic force at the base of the throat that either creates an excessive or deficient throat chakra imbalance, or both at once.
And the discomfort of remembering makes it even more commonplace to block, ignore, or avoid.
I heard a term used for the first time while listening to a podcast. She said that many healers, emaths, and lightworkers “spiritually bypass” their negative or shadow issues because it’s so much easier to live in this world “one-ness” and that if we feel a negative emotion we can meditate it away or bathe it white light. But, the problem resurfaces during times of stress and those people lose their minds, they go CRAY CRAY because they never dealt with the root cause of the issue. Hence, why I’m writing this blog post. I sense that I’m doing that so much recently, especially since my throat surgery, and my shadow self shows itself as rage and anger.
What I thought was resolved has jumped into the forefront for me to process again. All of my inner-child issues, relationship issues, addiction and recovery, basically, every piece of my shadow has come forward for me to stare at into the eyes. There is nowhere to hide and thank God, I have nothing to hide anymore. All I need to do now is sit closely and with as much compassion and stillness I can muster for myself to complete this work so I can move on and help others and be part of the collective good.
How does one do the work? What can help?
Throat chakra crystals, like blue lace agate, blue kyanite, angelite, turquioise, aqua aura, and blue topaz are all beautiful throat healers. They gently encourage you to find your voice, to speak up and tell your truth, even if your voice, hands, and legs shake.
Sound healing transmutes and facilitates stagnant energy to shift inside the body to the outside bodies and into the ether. Listening to videos of crystal bowl healings, tibetian singing bowls, or crystal pyramids can greatly affect the energetic construction inside of your body. Going to sound healing circles is a quick way to release the psychic or energetic smog you might be holding on to. Especially for emaths or highly sensitive people.
Saying a Mantra has been historically effective at shifting energy. You are saying words that hold vibration and that shift your being into a different state of awareness. So Ham, or OM, or repeating an affirmation in your mind can do so much great work at removing old trauma.
With any of these modalities, begin by stating your intention. I usually say something similar to: I am open for my body to realign with my energetic truth. My throat chakra rebalances to the energy of the greater and highest good. I am able to trust that my voice and my words spoken are in alignment with the energy of source. My words flow freely and I am able to voice myself clearly with good intention and purpose.